(RE)education
by Nicole (MySistahs Intern)
There are many words that people use as a substitute for the word vagina. Many of these words are just fun plays on the word vagina, used by men and women alike. Some of these words are used because any reference to the word vagina or to “that area between our legs” can be seen as vulgar and unladylike. And some of these words are often used to degrade others. Using these words as nasty insults is just one of many ways in which society teaches young women to disrespect and devalue their bodies and especially their vaginas.
Vagina disrespect is not a new thing. I think we can all agree that we are guilty of committing at least one of these crimes against vaginas: We curse our periods. We don’t masturbate and we don’t talk about masturbation. We buy douches even though our vagina is self-cleaning. We don’t take the time to learn about how our vagina functions. We don’t want our tampon or pad wrappers to make a sound. We don’t respect our vaginas enough to ensure that we use a condom every time we have sex. We don’t even look at or touch our vaginas. And many of us can’t even say the word vagina out loud!
We have to learn and to talk about ourselves in order to protect ourselves, but it is incredibly difficult to learn about our vaginas in a society that wants to keep girls ignorant. For sisters, vagina disrespect and ignorance is especially dangerous because of the incredibly high rate of HIV infection and unintended pregnancy in our community. Furthermore, as sisters, we remain incredibly divorced from our bodies. Young women of color value control of respect but often that doesn’t include control and respect of our bodies. We may “own” ourselves, but I think many of us do not “own” our bodies. From a historical standpoint, black women’s bodies were literally owned by white masters and our vaginas took the brunt of the abuse as we were subject to repeated rape and unwanted childbirth.
Today, the black female body is still being used. The black aesthetic, from full lips to large hips and butts, is being used to sell anything and everything, with black women serving mainly as objects of male desire. These images send the message to young girls that our bodies are for some one else’s pleasure and enjoyment—not our own. Many girls offer their vaginas as a bargaining chip to get what they want from men. We also are led to believe that if we want to keep our men around we have to offer them sex.
We need to begin to reclaim our bodies and our vaginas and to stop offering our valuable selves to be used and abused. Our vaginas have the power to nourish and sustain new life and menstruation is a monthly reminder of this incredible life process. You would think, then, that periods would be celebrated as a glorious reminder of our fertility and strength. Instead, we are supposed to be ashamed and disgusted, we try to cover them up, and we are told that this natural process is unclean and nasty. Why should we be ashamed of the fact that as we grow and mature we have the power to reproduce? I know periods can be a pain, but take some time to contemplate exactly what they represent.
Also, think about your vaginal health. It is important to keep our vaginas healthy for our own enjoyment, so they function properly, and so that when we are ready we will be able to produce healthy children. A healthy vagina also protects us from potential infections. Now, STIs are transmitted through sexual contact, but they are completely preventable. We just have to know what to do. Get to know your vagina so that you know how it is supposed to look and smell – this way you will be more likely to notice any changes in appearance or smell, which could be signs of an infection. Every year we need to visit our gynecologist to get a pap smear and pelvic exam. A pap smear checks for abnormal cervical cells that might be a sign of cervical cancer. A pelvic exam checks to make sure that your vagina is functioning properly. If we are sexually active, we should also ask to be tested for STIs. Getting tested is important even if we practice safe sex because knowing that we don’t have an STI is very different than thinking we don’t have one. In addition, many STI’s may have no signs or symptoms at all, but they can lead to disastrous consequences if left untreated. An untreated infection puts us at a higher risk of contracting HIV. Untreated infections can also lead to infertility.
Women don’t often talk about masturbation because it is still very taboo. It is normal to masturbate; it is also normal if you do not. Masturbation can be a great way to be sexual and release sexual frustration while remaining abstinent. Masturbation can also help you get to know what your body does and does not like, which can make sex with a partner more enjoyable. We are also not expected to be connected to our sexuality. Remember, when you do choose to have sex, it should be enjoyable for you too! So if you decide to have sex, make sure you’re knowledgeable, comfortable, and ready.
If you feel you are not ready, then wait!!! It is better to abstain then to dive into something we aren’t ready for. Sex carries risk. Whether it is risk of pregnancy, STI’s, or emotional complications, we have to be prepared. As always, if you are currently sexually active, remember to ALWAYS use a condom. If used correctly they are over 97 percent effective in protecting us from pregnancy and STIs.
Respect your vagina and be proud to be a woman! For more information:
Respect yourself. Protect yourself.
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