"NO, YOU CANNOT HOLLA AT ME" : The Growing Problem of Street Harassment
By Nicole
It started during my first year of college. At my school, first-year students are not allowed to have cars, so unless you have an older brother or sister attending your school (or if you know any cool upperclassmen), public transportation, exact change, and comfortable shoes will be your best friends. Moving back into the city for school was exciting for me. I looked forward to tons of sights and sounds to entertain me and the people I had developed close friendships with. I hadn’t lived back in the city since I was a little girl, so it was like a homecoming celebration of sorts, and I wanted to get out as much as possible to reacquaint myself with the city I had left.
It started with a few car horns. It concerned me because I wasn’t used to walking on the main street and I didn’t know if I had the right of way. Soon there were many horns beeping. Getting frustrated, I would look into the cars and began to notice that many of the drivers (and their passengers) were men. Many of them would have goofy grins on their faces. Others would have piercing stares, which made me very uncomfortable. I soon began to ignore these horns because I figured it was part of everyday life in this section of the city, and I knew I was competent to walk on the street.
I thought it was just me, but I would also hear the horns while walking with my friends to the nearby mall or to the public transportation station. The horns would soon be accompanied by whistles, hoots, hissing, or kissing noises. The men, calling out, “Smile…it ain’t that bad,” “Can’t you take a compliment?” “Aye Shawty, Lemme Holla Atcha!” or “Do you model?” annoyed me. I especially hated any reference asking me to smile. “Don’t talk to me like you know me!” I would be screaming inside, but I would be too afraid to say anything. Horn beeps, whistles, and dumb comments soon led to men actually walking up to me and my friends, grunting and making other ridiculous noises and sometimes following behind us. I could handle the noises and crazy comments, but having someone follow me gave me the creeps. Although I was fortunate to not have anyone touch me, I have had friends who were grabbed by their arms in an attempt to be led away by some of the men. If it wasn’t an arm, it would be having their buttocks smacked or grabbed or even having their breast fondled.
Have you experienced anything like this before? It’s called “street harassment”, inappropriate behaviors that occur on the street or in other public places that can make you feel uncomfortable, scared, and disrespected. Many women have and you don’t need to be away in college for it to happen. Street harassment can be caused by ignorance, drugs and alcohol, influences in the media (movies, TV, music), and home/family upbringing. Men aren’t the only harassers. Women are just as capable of participating in street harassment.
If you have experienced any of the following, you have been a victim of street harassment:
- Catcalling and sexually explicit comments about your physical appearance (“Girl, where did you get all that booty???”)
- Sexual gestures and noises (whistling, biting, licking, staring, moaning, etc.)
- Unwanted touching or grabbing your body without consent (lifting up your skirt, grabbing your buttock, vaginal area, or breasts, hitting you on the buttocks)
- Having someone holler at you from a distance (“Hey sexy!” ““Hey Ma! You look good!” “Come back here girl!!!”)
- Being followed
- Being insulted when you ignore the harassment (“Walk away then, ho!”)
Street harassment may range from the most “innocent” (“Hey, baby! Looking good!”) to the most extreme (demands for sex, sexual assault, and rape.). Many girls believe that someone talking about their physical appearance isn’t that big of a deal, but when someone is standing uncomfortably close to you, it can be downright scary. Street harassment can make you feel scared, angry, confused, powerless, and frustrated. You can also start to lose confidence in yourself.
I didn’t know there was a term for what many of my friends and I were experiencing. I just knew that I didn’t like it. From the time I first heard the car horns up until graduating from college, I would dread having to take public transportation or even walk in public. Why did those men have to stare so hard? Why couldn’t I just walk to catch the train in peace without worrying that someone might follow me to the train station? It’s a no-win situation. I didn’t want to respond back to them because I was afraid of what they would say or do, but I wanted so badly to shout “Leave me alone!” I wanted to tell these men that this was bad, inappropriate behavior.
I also thought that this was just a problem where I went to school. Unfortunately, I’m wrong. This problem is faced by young women and girls everywhere. These same individuals that will call a girl walking by “beautiful” or “sexy” will quickly call her a disrespectful name when the she doesn’t respond in the way they expect. How does a go from being “cute” one minute to being a “ho” the next minute?
Girls, never should you be afraid to walk anywhere in public. When someone does harass you, you can fight back. Keep in mind that your safety is more important than any witty comment that you say back to a Street Harasser. If you are in a situation in which you are beginning to feel unsafe, remove yourself from it as quickly as possible, even if it means running into a nearby building or calling someone to give you a ride. Even if you are unsure if the person is hostile, don’t take any chances. Ideally, you should not get into dialogue with the harasser, and you should never answer any of the harassers’ questions. Most importantly, do not curse or lose your temper. For many harassers, they don’t want your number or even to get to know you. Their primary goal is to upset you and your discomfort or anger will only encourage them to continue.
Every woman has the right to be in public without fearing for her safety. There are many things you can do. Share your concerns with your friends. Write articles for your high school or campus newspaper about street harassment. Talk to your male friends. Let them know that they will get more positive responses if they approach a young woman with respect. Some young women may respond to the catcalls…. but then there are the rest of us that require a more creative approach to get us to respond to you. And a car horn isn’t it.
Find out more about street harassment and what you can do to empower yourself and others to cope with it:
|
